Old Friends, New Friends

And A New Year

As I began this school year, a trusted advisor told me that what I really needed to pray for was that God would send me some strong friends. In particular he said I should ask God to send me one good solid man that I could call a best friend. I remember thinking that I agreed with him but told him that I already had just the people he was talking about. Matt Kemnitz, my former roommate (ask me about the Shatt House sometime) and best friend immediately came to mind. I also told him that Matty Molnar was my best friend at the seminary and that our relationship was exactly the kind that he was describing. So, that conversation ended with me agreeing to pray for some new friends, but also thinking that I was pretty content as far as friends went.

Still, I never want to say no God so I decided that I would begin to pray for God to send me some new friends. Well, not two days later, one of my friends from seminary told me that he was leaving the seminary. I had really looked forward to getting to know him better this year and felt like God was moving backward in answering my prayer. To make matters worse, kind of as a result of his leaving, I ended up loosing another friend back home who I valued very much. Perhaps I just found out that this person wasn’t really my friend to begin with, but it seemed to be another loss of a friend to me. I was really pretty upset with God by this point and was thinking that this was a rather poor way to answer a prayer for more friends. It seemed more like God was taking away all my friends. Then of course came September 15th and God took the only best friend I had at seminary. I was convinced by this point that praying for more friends was the worst thing I ever did. I was content with my friends before and now it seemed like he was taking them all away one by one.

But God’s ways are not our ways. As I look back now, I can see that it was from this dark valley that God really started to answer my prayer in a way I never imagined. A lot of the guys at Mundelein knew how close Matty and I were and when he died all of the sudden many people were going out of their way to befriend me. I’m now closer than I ever was with many of my brother seminarians at Mundelein. I think we’re all closer at the seminary now as a result of the accident.

The thing I never could have imagined was how many of Matty’s friends I would meet and would soon come to call my friends. I know many of you read my blog and I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting many of you in person. I am truly overwhelmed with gratitude for the new friendships I have found with all of you. I haven’t always made new friends very easily and the way you have welcomed me into your circle of friends is truly incredible. I am amazed at the people I’ve met. You truly inspire me and I look forward to getting to know each of you better in the future. I am also once again reminded in a profound way that God knows what he is doing even when things look really bad.

When Matty died, I could only see God as taking my friends from me. Now as I look back, I have more friends than I can count that I never would have met had it not been for Matty’s death. And, most importantly, I have come to see how Matty hasn’t really been taken from me. I have experienced his continuing friendship over these last months in a way that is almost more real than when he was a alive on earth. I don’t understand why God does things the way he does, but I do know that he has answered my prayer for strong Catholic friendships and I thank Him and you from my heart.

And so, on this New Years’s day, I just want to say thank you…to my old friends from St. Lawrence; I can’t tell you how great it was to get together again with so many of you over this break…to my new friends for whom I know I have Matty to thank…to my best friend Matt (and wonderful wife Olivia) for always being there for me and trusting me to be the godfather of a future pope…and most especially to God for the blessings of a year filled with joy and sorrow but that leaves me with a sense of great hope for a blessed new year filled with His grace.

Thank you God for all my friends

Thanks for all the Christmas cards. In case you ever wondered what happens to them, here is my door at seminary. It’s an old tradition in my family to hang them around the door. They remind me how blessed I am with friends and family, and that makes for a very merry Christmas.