This homily was given in Bethlehem in the Latin church of St. Catherine adjoining the Church of the Nativity, the site of the birth of Jesus.
On the plane ride over to the Holy Land, I was reading the book Daring Greatly by the popular psychologist and speaker Brené Brown. I’m only half-way through, but I noticed an important connection between the premise of the book and the mystery we celebrate in Bethlehem.
Brown shows how shame and fear of rejection often cause us to put on a sort of armor in our relationships. We don’t want to get hurt and so we protect ourselves. We’ve all been hurt, taken advantage of, risked and lost. The world is broken and it’s natural when you’ve been hurt to try to avoid being hurt in the future. The problem is that in overprotecting, we are in fact missing out on real relationship. The answer to fearful hiding and protecting is vulnerability.
The word vulerna in Latin refers to wounds. Vulnerability is therefore the ability to be wounded. Right away that sounds scary. Yet it’s the key to all real relationship. To be the first one to risk on another, to be the first to say “I love you,” to not be afraid to be your real self. These things require real courage and daring, hence the title of the book. Here in Bethlehem, we see the ultimate act of vulnerability in Jesus coming to us as a little baby.
Before the coming of Jesus as a baby, there was something God could not do; he could not suffer. In being born, Jesus became vulnerable, able to be wounded. We often want to be sure we won’t be hurt before we make ourselves vulnerable. But Jesus became vulnerable to a people where he knew he would not be “safe.” He knew if he became human he would be wounded. In fact, he knew we would kill him. But he chose to be vulnerable anyway, because he wanted a relationship with us, forever.
What is keeping you from being vulnerable? What masks are you wearing? How are you hiding and protecting yourself? It’s a normal reaction to all the hurt we experience. But there is also a lot more true joy and intimacy to be had if we would just be like the Christ child and dare to be vulnerable.